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A spin in the crossover "coupe" reveals an SUV entertaining enough to make up for its looks.

Full disclosure: I'm not huge on the concept of sport-utility coupes. One of the primary draws of a sport-utility vehicle has always been, well, they can carry a whole lot of stuff. Squared-off shapes are pretty damn efficient for maximizing volume, while the swoopy fastback tails that look good on low-riding cars usually look odd on taller-riding vehicles, throwing their proportions out of whack. (Of course, the apparent popularity of SUCs, as I call them, has proven that I'm in the minority to considering such looks a dealbreaker.)

High-performance SUVs, however, I have no quibble with. Sure, like many a car nut, I'd spend my money on a hot wagon over a fast sport-ute any day of the week; sedans and station wagons are lower and lighter than SUVs as a general rule, and those two traits play very well together. But modern automotive technology means the fast crossovers of today are still insanely quick and remarkably capable of taking turns and stopping — indeed, often offering performance that would humble the supercars of a generation ago.

Besides, living in New York City and regularly driving to Vermont for more than a decade has showed me the virtues of four-wheel-drive grip and ground clearance many, many times over; if I had a nickel for every snow drift, every mud patch, every pothole and every curb I've conquered over the years in an SUV or truck that would have stopped me had I been in a car, I'd have enough to buy an AMG of my own.

So when the Mercedes-AMG GLE 63 S Coupe — an SUV that belongs to both of the above families — showed up at my door, I was curious to see which of these sets of traits would prove dominant in setting my opinion. I knew from my associate Tyler Duffy that this AMG was a tour de force; then again, so are the myriad high-performance crossover coupes I've tested from Audi and Porsche, among others. As it turned out, however, fate had an interesting comparison in store for me: the week I had the GLE 63 S was the same week I went to Expedition Motor Company to see their first-rate rebuilt vintage Mercedes-Benz Gelandewagens, setting up an interesting contrast between Mercedes SUVs of past and present.

As mentioned, my experience with the GLE 63 S was spent driving it to and from the headquarters of Expedition Motor Company — which specializes in doing to vintage Mercedes-Benz Gelandewagens what Singer Vehicle designs does to Porsche 964s — in rural New Jersey. As such, my drive in the crossover wound up being the crispy chocolate cookies around the creamy center of driving a 30-year-old Mercedes-Benz SUV in the Oreo of my day.

While they both wear a three-pointed star on their grilles, the difference between the body-on-frame, open-top, manual-transmission-equipped diesel-powered G-wagen and the GLE 63 S isn't just night and day; it's night and day on Mercury. The Gelandewagen doesn't like to go much faster than 60 miles per hour, and it takes about half the day to get there; the GLE, by contrast, can do that same dash in 3.4 seconds. (That said, while you'd be hard-pressed to tell if you were doing 30 or 60 in the GLE, the soft-top G-wagen brings you close enough to the wind that you're aware of every extra mile per hour you pick up.)

While the GLE 63 S may not live up to the absurd cornering prowess of, say, an Audi RS Q8, it's still more than capable of parsing tight bends at speeds well over twice the recommended limit — sometimes faster than many a sports car driver might consider taking the same bend. Contrast that to the Gelandewagen of yore, which needs to obey those yellow suggested speed signs with the diligence of a boot camp recruit listening to a drill sergeant.

Fans of classic Mercedes minimalism of the sort found in a vintage G-wagen are liable to do their best recreation of the shocked Steve Harvey GIF upon seeing the cockpit of the AMG GLE. There are screens upon screens — even tiny ones inside the drive mode controllers on the steering wheel — and they all offer flawless, super-high-res graphics (along with, on occasion, a bit pf information overload). The seats — adjustable in ways the original G-wagen engineers couldn't have dreamed of, between their myriad motors and heating / ventilating / massaging action — are more than comfortable and supportive enough to qualify for office chair duty. And while the trunk isn't as big as it should be, it's still roomy enough for a good-sized grocery run.

Circling back to the beginning of the story: all of those positive experiences didn't do much to woo me over to the side of liking crossover SUV coupes, however. The regular two-box GLE-Class offers a more usable cargo bay and (I'd argue) a more aesthetically appealing rear.

That said, unlike BMW and the X5 M / X6 M twins, AMG doesn't offer you the choice between conventional and unconventional SUV body styles if you want the full-fat performance model. The GLE 63 only comes in coupe form; if, like me, you'd prefer a good-ol'-fashioned SUV design, you'll either have to upsize to the GLS 63 or live with the lesser performance of the GLE 53. Personally, I'd be inclined to take the former choice if money were no object — the GLS is astoundingly impressive, and the little it gives up dynamically to the GLE is arguably more than made up for by the added versatility of its size.

Base Price / Price as Tested: $117,050 / $128,250

Powertrain: 4.0-liter twin-turbo V8, nine-speed automatic, all-wheel-drive

EPA Fuel Economy: Come on, you don't care

Logic and the laws of nature alike are no match for this 592-hp super-SUV.